21 things I wish I could have told myself when I first got depression.

1 – It’s going to hurt… a lot.

Pain - Article.gif

2 – But you’re going to be thankful for that pain one day. Simply because its all that’s left to remind you you’re alive.

Thank you. NO - Article.gif

3 – The world owes you nothing… and cares even less.

Unfair - article

4 – So you’ve got to get up, get dressed and care about yourself …Every. Single. Day.

Let me slep - Article

5 – Don’t feel guilty. Just because you don’t have the worst life that was ever lived, doesn’t invalidate how you feel now. Pain is relative. Say it everyday. Pain is relative.

Mind blown - Article

6 – Food is about to become your best friend.

Steak - Article

It’s better to be fat than dead.

7 – You’re going to lose a huge part of yourself. Good bits and bad bits.

isnt fair - article

8 – And you’ve got to let them go. You can’t fight to keep who you were and battle depression at the same time. Depression is too strong. You have to let go or you could end up with nothing.

Good bye - article

9 – The people that notice something’s wrong and stick by you are the only people you need in your life. They can’t take the pain away – but they wish they could.

smiling eyes

10 – And the people that don’t? You’re going to have let them go too. And that means saying goodbye to another life a happier you could have had.

Goodbye- dont want to hear it - article.gif

11 – You can’t fight everyday. If you do it’ll turn you into something you don’t want to be. Find a day, every once in a while, and just let it wash over you. Let depression through your defences and swamp your entire being. Face that fear.

Cant fight forever - article

12 – Because tomorrow you’re going to get the fuck up and fight back.

DOnt come for the queen

13 – You’re not going to let depression take everything from you.

not today satan

14 – You aren’t just a victim. You’re a somebody. Somebody with a life. A family. POTENTIAL.


15 – You might never win this war. You might always have depression, but don’t you think for one mother-fucking minute that you’ll always be depressed. 

dont worry about that - article

16 – Some days you’ll be happy and hopeful and at peace with the world. Some days you won’t. Those days aren’t failures…they’re reminders…

sad:happy - article

17 – …of just how far you’ve come…

Applaud me

18 – …and how strong you are now.

Miss piggy - Article

19 – So you do you Honey-Boo.

Honey Boo - Article

20 – And remember what a God-damned champion you are…

Lady Gaga - Article

21 -…Because every single part of you deserves to be happy.



14 things I’ve come to love, hate and still don’t understand about Dundee.

1 – “Eh speh a peh with meh eh” is a real sentence and not understanding it is tantamount to regional xenophobia. (‘I spy a pie with my eye’ incase you’re wondering.)

What the fuck

2 – I have no idea where Abertay Uni is. Like, at all. I know it exists, just don’t know where.


3 – You cannot go over the rail bridge without someone telling you it fell down once.

Keep your mouth shut

4 – As soon as you pass the Disney Store in town, everyone turns into joggy wearing, loud arguing, drug addict and the only other normal people you see will be scurrying furtively to Tesco for a meal deal.

I dont even fit in here

5 – Clarks Twenty Four Hour bakery is worth the taxi fare it takes to get there. But trying to convince your friends who’ve never been and would settle for a kebab is like …

You dont even know

6 – A small subset of Dundonians insist on shouting “Eh?” after every sentence. Take this example: “Can you tell me where the petrol station is, please?” “Yes, it’s over by the Olympia, EH!” and then proceed to look at you as if you are in fact an idiot sent by the lord to test them before their midday pint.

getting on my nerves

7 – They call roundabouts ‘circles’ and will threaten death if you contradict them. Eh.

kill you meme

8 – They also can’t use their ‘circles’. Or lane positioning. Or who has right of way. Or parking.

no idea what im doing

9 – The Union is probably the single most divisive thing about Dundee. To students, it’s god’s gift to cheap booze and great music. To everyone else, it is the equivalent of Hyperdales popping up in Craiglang.


10 – Except for their two football teams. Literally on opposite sides of the street from one another. You’re either a Dee and can’t touch an orange without breaking out in hives. Or you’re an ‘Arab’. Which isn’t a racist thing at all, but something to do with them training on sand a hundred years ago and no one letting it go.


11 – A walk down by the riverside is literally one of the most calming and peaceful experiences of your life.


12 – If it’s windy the Tay Bridge shuts down and if you’re caught on the opposite side you have to make a pilgrimage like King Alfred from one bank to the other via Perth. Adding about an hour onto your journey and ten points on your stress levels because you think it’s just a bit of fucking wind. (For the record, it’s not. Its fucking terrifying on a blustery day never mind when Hurricane Bawbag’s pulling in off the North Sea.)

not today satan

13 – Having drinks up the Perth Road is the equivalent of a jaunt up Ashton Lane. Except in Dundee, they don’t brag about it, the prices are reasonable and you’re still only a five minute walk away from the nightclubs.


14 – Finally, they have something called a ‘stovie’. Is a stovie something you eat? Maybe? I don’t know. Eh, fuck it.


89 thoughts writer’s have while writing

Whether it’s a novel, a short story, an epic poem or a limerick, we all know putting words to paper can be pretty tough. This is a list of some of the things that might be running through your mind … 

1 – Time to write a bestseller!


2 – O.K., a bit too confident. Time to write a book!

Smiling (Best Seller)

3 – A paragraph?


4 – A sentence, caammaaaannn???


5 – I didn’t even want to write just now anyway.

Dont wanna write

6 – I wonder what’s happening on Facebook?


7 – Oh hiya, muse. Finally decided to show up. LETS. DO. THIS.

lets do this

8 – Man, I’ve been writing for hours, I must have written a TONNE!


9 – 136 WORDS?!

136 words

10 – No, that just cannot be true.

I dont beleive you

11 – It’s only been eight minutes?

not true

12 – Fucking lies.

Jack Nicholson

13 – I’m going to tweet how hard this shit is.


14 – **Tweets** this shit is hard.


15 – Do writers swear?


16 – Maybe the other writers wont be my pal if I swear.

We hate you

17 – **deletes tweet**


18 – Fuck those other writers I’ll swear if I titty well want. Arsefuck.

I do what i want

19 – God, I am so awful at grammar.

You know nothing

20 – And punctuation.

really stupid

21 – What’s a predicate?

i have the rest of my life to find out

22 – What’s happening on Facebook now?

Facebok 2

23 – Oh, someone’s uploaded another blog entry!


24 – Hahaha, this is rubbish!


25 – They can’t even use a comma correctly.


26 – But I can’t even use a comma correctly, so I’ll let them off with it.


27 – But they’ve written something.

Backhand a bitch

28 – I’ve written hee hum haw.

You aint got shit

29 – I am so bad at spelling.

Giving up

30 – What do those green lines under words mean?


31 – Now it’s under a whole sentence? Da fuq?!

Youve got to be kidding me

32 – ‘Fragmented consider revising’ ????


33 – Pretty sure it’s supposed to fix it for me?


34 – I’ll just say it’s a new style.

cant be tamed

35 – **Tweets** just invented a new style of writing!


36 – It’s called “Can’t write fo’ shit.”


37 – Better not tweet that though. Sweary words.

Judging You

38 – Why didn’t I pay attention in English?

Robert Downey JR

39 – What’s a superlative?


40 – Google’s ‘highest ever U.K. book advance’.


41 – I’m going to be so god-damned rich.


42 – If I could just write a FUCKING WORD.


43 – Maybe I should write on the toilet.


44 – Like, maybe it’s magical.

You're a wizard

45 – Maybe I just work better in a tiled environment.

mond blown

46 – Isn’t there some singers that can only sing in the toilet?

Mmmm no

47 – Pretty sure there was a “Recess” episode about it.


48 – Googles, ‘Recess Toilet Singing’.

Google 2

49 – I’m hungry.

Upset i eat

50 – JK Rowling bakes brownies. I’m going to bake brownies.


51 – I can’t bake brownies for shit either.

michael cera

52 – Why God?! WHYYYYYY?

Dear God

53 – I have zero talent.

no talent

54 – I have absolutely no talent.

why god why

55 – Oh holy shit, I am the most talented writer ever.

I'm back bitches

56 – My story is so slick y’all.

Bitch Please

57 – Wait, no, come back. Words please don’t leave me.

Dont go

58 – How many words was that?

power rangers

59 – 189!




61 – I wonder what the average word count per day for other writer’s are?

ru paul

62 – Ernest Hemingway was only 500!


63 – Right. If I can write 250 words I can go and watch Netflix.

oh goody

64 – I’m just going to choose what to watch. So, you know, I’m excited and motivated.


65 – Yes, The Office. Perfect.

the office

66 – Aw whoops! Accidentally hit ‘play’.


67 – These brownies aren’t terrible.

I cant eat this

68 – Not as bad as this shit fest I’m trying to write, anyway.

This shit two

69 – What if I never finish this book and I end up like David Brent?


70 – Right, enough shenanigans. WRITE, DAMN YOU. WRITE!


71 – You shouldn’t sit at your computer this long. Doesn’t it kill you?

murder you

72 – Pretty sure I am the fucking greatest?


73 – Nope.

Its a no from me

74 – I’ll read some out loud to the cat.


75 – If he stays, it’s great. If he leaves, it’s shite.

Demi Lovato

76 – He left! The Judas-Et-Tu-Brute fucker!

Cat leaves

77 – Haha, Isa never ate two of anything.

et tu

78 – ‘Good writers are great readers’, someone important said that.


79 – Other authors keep notes. Why don’t I keep notes.


80 – I’m going to start some notes.

why 4

81 – I have no fucking clue what to put in these notes.

why 3

82 – I’ll write a poem instead.


83 – They’re shorter, ergo, easier.


84 – Surely only a real writer would use a word like ‘ergo’?




86 – I can only rhyme ‘write’ with ‘shite’.


87 – Awk chuck it in the fuck it bucket.

fuck it

88 – I’ll start again tomorrow.

im done

89 – I wonder what’s on Facebook now?

facebook fuck you all